This last few years has been a journey for me mentally more than ever before. Its been probably the scariest few years I've had to face. It's taken me to the darkest of times. The hopelessness is probably the most difficult to deal with for me the worthlessness a very closely second. Its in these times that we realise just how strong we are and although it's hard to feel strong on a day to day basis its our strength that ultimately pull us through. The problem with recovery is, its messy, it's painful, it's unpleasant, it's hard! You have to do a lot of soul searching, we have to admit things about ourselves that are painful, things we don't particularly want to admit. We have to whole heartedly face our demons head on, for some this is impossible and the only way is to end our lives, to stop the pain we're feeling. To some it's the only way but let me tell you that it's really not the only way out of the darkness, we have to be willing to love those for whom we care when they can't love themselves, we have to be able to reach out a hand whenever we are being pushed away.
I want to talk about giving yourself the hope and the chance to heal, to live a life you have always wanted too, but you haven't because a lot of the times we are scared because all we have ever known is pain and anguish , we don't know what happiness feels like, to be truly happy within your soul. It's a long road where you don't feel like you're getting anywhere, you feel like you're not healing at all. It's not until you have travelled your journey to a point where your stable and in a good place, only then do we look back and realise that we have actually come so far. There are still going to be days where we can't cope, where we just want to stay in bed and not go to work, or don't leave the house for weeks sometimes months, the days where you don't shower or look after yourself, the ugly days where you lay there crying uncontrollably, the days where the housework doesn't get done, the days where you don't brush your teeth. I want to talk to you about how one day you will look back at your own journey and be extremely proud of the person you have become, the lessons you have learned, the moments that make you smile or laugh out loud like you haven't don't for such a long time. The beauty of the things and the people around us, we all might not have a great support network but, if you find the right support it's endless. I want to talk about that time when you find yourself walking and your looking around and taking in the scenery, for a change you're not looking at the floor. It's these tiny little things that eventually become pleasurable that eventually help us to heal. I want to talk about that time when you go out to the shops or meet up with a friend for the first time and you enjoy it! I want to talk about that time you tried to take your own life but you're still here and someone out there is pleased that you are, believe me when I say there will be more people than you think. I want to talk about that time when you have finished your course of counselling and you're implementing these new tricks that help you cope and get you through the day. The journey with depression anxiety PTSD to name just a few is a hard debilitating one, it feels endless. It's has such a power over you that's hard to explain to others. But, there is hope out there for us all, one day our storm will turn in to peace, our rain will turn into the sunniest of days, our fear will turn into joy and our darkness will turn into light. Just have faith in the process, have faith in the healing, have faith in ourselves, its there to be had. One day you will help others by sharing your stories and your journeys with mental health and do you know what? it feels amazing to be able to do so. Mental illness should be talked about more freely, more openly with more understanding and if you struggle to understand a loved ones journey educate yourself, it will be the best thing you ever did. Teach yourselves mental health first aid, you could help someone who's just out and about and who suffers a panic attack, there are some great tools out there but there is still also a lot of stigma, granted no where near as much but its still there. Arm yourself with the tools to help yourself recover from trauma, arm yourself enough that you remind yourself of the hope we all hold, its there somewhere.
Spread your wings and learn how to fly darling, you are worthy of happiness, of peace, of feeling loved. YOU ARE WORTHY!!
LET'S TALK 💚✌